Many clients feel embarrassed if they cry during the session. This is an understandable reaction,  no-one likes crying in front of others, you make strange faces, your voice may be a tiny squeak-if you can talk at all, or your nose might be red and your eyes puffy. Crying can be because you feel overwhelmed and helpless. It may be that you have been keeping your emotions bottled up for a long time. Then when I ask you what brought you to make an appointment this can be the trigger that releases your tears.  You will be experiencing some emotional pain - usually they are not tears of joy when you are in therapy and it can be something you have never felt comfortable doing. So why would I be writing about something you want to avoid? 

Some people might  actually want to cry but may only be able to do so when alone. They are experiencing tumultuous emotions but the tears won't come. Others say "If I start crying I won't be able to stop". As infants we used crying to get attention and let others know there was something we were not happy about. We weren't coached to cry, we did it without any difficulty - and sometimes too well when our parents needed sleep!

As we grew older, others may have told us to stop crying or not make so much fuss and noise when angry or upset. If so, then it might be hard to think that crying is allowed during therapy and it's not such a bad thing. Do you want to appear strong and in control? If so, does crying make you appear weak? 

Tough men don't cry could be your motto and if you have lived with it this long - why change? It can be helpful to explore why you are unable to cry and what emotions you might be pushing away? When you feel tearful, just stop, sit and think what that is about and you might just be surprised what you learn or how your body reacts when you take a moment to "listen" to it. Crying is not a prerequisite for successful therapy but it could help you gain insight and a better understanding of yourself.

Here goes - my first ever blog!! This is definitely a challenge for me, it's a bit nerve wracking to have my blog open to people I don't know.  However, it's probably not as bad as it might be for you turning up to to your first appointment. Especially if you have never met me or seen a psychologist before. It could be even more worrying if you had counselling in the past, thought it was not helpful and are brave enough to try again. People often say "I have been anxious thinking about what I am going to say in the session", try not to worry it's  my job to keep the conversation going, you just need to turn up. 



I have plenty of tissues so you don't need to apologise if you cry - it may be the first time you have been able to talk about the problems and your emotions feel overwhelming. People will sometimes say "I wasn't going to cry today and I have". That's okay too, for ladies, I will let you know if your make-up has run before you leave the room! 

One of the most important aspects of our sessions will be the therapeutic relationship we develop. If you feel that I have provided a safe and understanding environment where you are not judged or criticised then we have a good foundation on which we can work together on your issues. 

At the end of every session if you wish to you can fill in a very short 4 question scale which asks you to rate the following :

• whether you felt heard, understood and respected
  
• if we worked on what you wanted to work on
  
• whether you felt my approach suits you
• overall if the session was right for you

You can be totally honest with this and if I see the rating is low in one or more areas I can talk it over with you and see how this can be improved. (There is no obligation to do this, the forms are left on the table.)  However, I do appreciate the feedback as we need to work together to make sure you are happy with attending.

At the end of your appointment we will complete any payments or medicare claims and arrange another date for you to come back. This is all done privately in my room so you do not have to wait at the reception desk.  

Try not to feel anxious or scared about the session, the aim is to help you to gain your life back and feel you are in control. My job is to guide you there, yours is to come along and participate as best you can. I hope this has put your mind at rest and that I will see you soon.


If you are under 18, your parent or carer will need to come with you the first time so we can discuss confidentiality. This is so you can feel okay talking about personal issues knowing I am not going to tell anyone. Except if you or someone else is at serious risk I will do whatever I think is necessary in that situation. This might mean telling someone else such as your parent or Doctor. Again, we can discuss this when you come to your first appointment. Once we have talked about confidentiality, often the parent will tell me what they think is the problem, then they leave the room and we can talk alone.